In the first one ('Son') there are some good moments but one or two issues. Firstly in terms of English skills you make quite a few apostrophe errors and spelling mistakes (eg 'your' instead of 'you're'). I will look at these with you in class. Secondly your scene directions include stuff which could not possibly be seen by the audience and therefore are not appropriate for scene directions - eg "he has been thinking of a wey to tell his father for years". This would be OK in a story but not in a script - can you see why? In the second one I like the like "there is no us" - that was a nice moment. Still some spelling/punctuation errors though - you need to proof read or get someone to help you proof read before you upload.
In the first one ('Son') there are some good moments but one or two issues. Firstly in terms of English skills you make quite a few apostrophe errors and spelling mistakes (eg 'your' instead of 'you're'). I will look at these with you in class. Secondly your scene directions include stuff which could not possibly be seen by the audience and therefore are not appropriate for scene directions - eg "he has been thinking of a wey to tell his father for years". This would be OK in a story but not in a script - can you see why? In the second one I like the like "there is no us" - that was a nice moment. Still some spelling/punctuation errors though - you need to proof read or get someone to help you proof read before you upload.
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